Somehow, this move was able to completely disappoint me DESPITE the already low expectations that I had walking in – and those were pretty low in case you weren’t already sure. I feel as though any movie that you hear nothing about has to be pretty terrible because that means that absolutely NO ONE has seen it or wants to admit to it.
The Heat is Melissa McCarthy’s second strike with me and I don’t know if I’m going to give her the opportunity for a third. The scenes between her and Bullock was stale whether it be the actually writing or delivery, and the characters were completely mundane. This comedy was almost as forced as a Will Ferrell flick, but at least he generally elicits a few laughs here and there. The Heat falls flat on its face for a number of reasons, the main one being the ridiculous character outlines. Bullock plays a talented FBI agent that is socially incompetent and oddly doesn’t seem to understand the idea of going undercover (see: Ekko scene), while McCarthy is an overbearing detective that does what she wants, when she wants and how she wants – which really bothers me. There’s attitude and then there’s an unruly manner that wouldn’t walk even in a third world country, but that’s beside the point. These underdeveloped character archetypes are what really hurt the movie and make watching the duo feel more like watching a train wreck than anything else.
I could go on, but it is hard to think past Bullock’s ridiculous haircut and McCarthy’s finger-less gloves.
Dir: Rob Cowen, 2009 (Not Rated)
Senseless Killings, er I mean, Messages Deleted is a poorly developed thriller about a screen writer/film professor’s life gone askew as if it were a movie. Although I have an affinity for movies within movies or people that discuss the make-up of movies within movies, this one is sub-par. Even Matthew Lillard couldn’t help it (and I LOVE the Lillard).
Dir: Penelope Spheeris, 1985 (Rated: R)
The Boys Next Door is a coming of age tale in which Charlie Sheen and Maxwell Caulfield play two fresh high school graduates that go on a killing spree in Los Angeles, California. Their reason behind it? Why the hell not? This movie is enjoyable because of the lack of care for other human beings that the two boys display, it is a strict demonstration of adolescence and the whole thing about the murders? Well, their behavior and patterns also exhibit true traits of serial killers.
Dir. Richard Linklater, 2008 (PG-13)
—-submission via Madison (@maddymcgohard)
Orson Welles is a director/actor working on his new Broadway show “Caesar.” He may quite possibly be the most self-righteous man of 1937, a bully, and just a huge annoyance on screen. Richard (Zac Efron) is 17, and is cast as Lucious in “Caesar.” This is his first role on the Broadway stage and he’s hoping to some day be a big actor.
Dir: Daryn Tufts, 2010 (Rated: PG)
Don’t be fooled by this movie’s cheap posters, My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend is a wonderfully dynamic romantic comedy that can make even the most committed of cynics chuckle at the adorable affairs developed between the three main characters. The story focuses on Jesse (Alyssa Milano)’s love life as she engages in two simultaneous relationships, looking for her perfect mate. Unlike the rest of us she is lucky enough to have two amazing options.
Dir: Donald Petrie, 1988 (Rated: R)
Mystic Pizza can best be describe as a casual romantic comedy. The film, about the trials and tribulations of a trio of young women that work in the local pizza pub, appeals to all of the viewer’s emotions, evoking chuckles, sighs of envy and even short gasps when so-and-so walks through the door. Starring Julia Roberts, there is pretty much no way that the movie could fail at face value, although I do have a few complaints.
Dir: Jerry Schatzberg, 1971 (Rated: PG)
The Panic is Needle Park is a movie that depicts a young woman, Helen’s, entry into a new life. After meeting a smooth talking New Yorker named Bobby, she is quickly thrown into a lifestyle that she would have otherwise never imagined. This classic drama isn’t just about taking a look inside of junkie’s life. It is a desperate love story in which there is no escape.